is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
