I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
