the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
