bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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