Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
