Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
