Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
