windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
