You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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