Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
