I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
