Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
