Grow some girl-balls and come out already
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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