I need help removing her.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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