Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
