Kiss
Puke
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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