i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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