Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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