I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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