When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
