can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
