all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
