its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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