Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
