people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Shame - the story of my life.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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