dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
