whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
