Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
