oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
