new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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