I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
