Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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