ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
