im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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