If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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