doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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