Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
