Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
