You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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