Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Randomize
