Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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