Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
