why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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