So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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