The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
