Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
