His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
