3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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