Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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