She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
